Friday, May 4, 2012

Bad Dreams

I often have the most vivid dreams of eating gluten.  This is not something I have always done. I cannot remember a single dream prior to going gluten free that involved me mowing down on pastry, bread, or some other forbidden carb. Only since going gluten free have I had the frightening pleasure of these dreams - or should I call them nightmares? I liken them to what recovering addicts must feel when they have a 'using dream'.  I do not mean this lightly, and I am not trying to minimize this experience for recovering addicts. In these dreams everything is very, very real.  I am usually about to take a huge bite out of some lovely glutenous carb creation, when I suddenly realize what I am doing. Mmmmm, the texture, the taste...it is amazing.  And then I am sent into a tizzy because I have eaten one of the most deliciously toxic things I could possibly consume. In one sense it is a dream and I do not want to wake up because it is the only way I will ever be able to eat my beloved gluten....and it is also a nightmare, because  it is torturous and takes me one step back to wanting what I cannot have.  And so I recite my mantra: Having Celiac is a curse.  But knowing what I have is a blessing.

I can't be the only Celiac having these dreams though, am I?

1 comment:

Gluten Free Mom said...
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